c'est bizzare!

It’s a running joke at my school that everyone’s either going to become a doctor or a lawyer. Indeed upon questioning about her preference of plans for the coming year, a friend replied, “A med-law course at the Harvard University of Oxford-Cambridge, of course”. Classic, but somewhat painfully true. After changing my mind a million times this year (advertising, fashion photography, marketing, journalism, PR, public servant) I’ve returned to my original decision of law. However my school really isn’t a cross section of the population, after all boys do exist in the real world and hence there becomes a need to look at other professions available.

Chicken sexer
Bestiality remains a rather unaccepted and illegal practice, and thats ok because this job isn't like that. Chicken sexers sort through baby chicks to determine if they are male or female and then segregate them. This is to enable those chickens to receive optimal nourishment for their likely commercial role later on. Did your parents make you go to a single sex school? The same principle applies here.

Golf Ball Diver
My school's right next to a golf course and once in while in our wanderings to and fro we will come across a golf ball. Unsure of how to utilise such superfluous equipment we kind of just leave them there. What we should have done is collected the heap, cleaned them and resold them to the golfers who lost them. Such is the job of golf ball divers who wake up at the crack on dawn in search of such dimpled spherical beatuies.

Fortune Cookie writer
It's a big claim but undoubtably one of the greaest mysteries of the Orient remains how the omniscent fortune cookie slips finds themselves to be written in English. Were the powers of its anicent art so advance that it forsaw the reader's inability to comprehend it's language? Or could this be the work of a dodgy middleman?

Cartoon Colourist
No joke, they do exist. This was the furture I was looking at had I decided to pursue an artistic career, or so said my mother. The worst thing is you don't even get to finish the entire cartoon. What could be more terrible than buying an entire tin of Derwents and not even having the opportunity to use all 96 colours and shades?

Ringtone Recorder
If you ever meet one, these are the ones to blame for those annoying chimes for mobiles. The doof doof ones are the worst. I know waking up before the sun does is a pain, but this isn't going to make your 7am train trips seem like a party. That being said, imagine how much worse it must feel to be recording these everyday. So maybe if you meet one, blame them but then give them a hug.

With ENTER results arriving dangerously soon; these options are becoming increasing less ridiculous. Indeed a pact has been made with Fox that should we fail life, a cupcake/florist/bookshop/café shall be opened featuring such dishes as “the cupcake of VCE angst” and “shunned by the family mystery meat”. Bon appetit.

wolfs